With all of the illness and holidays today was the first time in weeks that we made it to church. I am SO glad we went! It felt good to see all of the familiar faces and I LOVE letting the kids go play. I know they are very well taken care of and they feel completely at home when we are there.
There are two things that caught my attention today at church.
The first was during the worship songs. There was a line in the one of the songs that always gets stuck in my head, but today it had more meaning that it has in the past.
"Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord"
For some reason, this hit me today. I was thinking a lot about all of the family drama that has been going on. I have been trying to not let it get to me too much, but for some reason it really did today during this song. I sat there thinking how much strength I have needed to get through this. And that I am trying to "wait" and pray to decided what I need to do next.
I have not cried over any of this drama. Yes, I have been hurt, but I have not let myself cry. I have tried to control how I feel about it all and had been doing a good job of it, until today at church.
I actually started to get tears in my eyes and was a little overwhelmed with how I started to feel. I wiped the tears away and just continued listening to the music. It all meant more to me today than it has in the past. It was like God was speaking to me through the great music! I will continue to pray and "wait" to see what I need to do next.
The second thing that caught my attention today was The Superhero. He was a little high (350ish) when he went into church. We bolused light for breakfast because of all the lows we have been having since he was sick. I bolused him a little before he went into his classroom.
Then part way into the service our number pops up on the wall. I figured it must have meant that The Princess was cranky and I needed to go get her. Turns out it was for The Superhero. They were eating animal cookies for a snack and were not sure he could have some. (I always plan on him eating a snack and never bolus for it at church, it is free, and I just deal with the BG later)
I told her he definitely could have some and that I count on him having snack there each week.
I looked into his room and he was sitting at the table with his back to me. All the other kids had animal cookies in front of them and were eating.
And there my little guy was with nothing.
He looked like his head was looking down a bit. I have never had to experience this "left out" feeling before. He is not in school. Is this what it is going to be like? I am not ready for this.
Of course, he was fine as soon as she gave him his snack. I am sure it did not really phase him. But it hit me hard. I did not like seeing him with no snack while everyone else was sitting there eating.
I know they meant no harm. And I appreciate that they thought to ask me before giving it to him.
I just took this a little hard. Seeing him left out even for just a minute just seemed so unfair. I will have to make sure I let them know from now on that he can always have his snack with the rest of the group.