I did it. I made my decision.

I have decided the MMR and Chicken Pox will wait for now.

I will get her any boosters needed. I will wait for the others until we figure out this allergy to milk stuff.

I want her immune system to be at its BEST when she gets the MMR and the Chicken Pox vaccines.

So, we will wait.

And in a few months, we will get the MMR and then a few months later, we will go for the chicken pox vaccine.

I did schedule an appointment for Monday with an allergist to have her officially tested. I am not looking forward to the 2 hour appointment, but I am hopeful we will find answers.

Thank you to all of my friends for your thoughts through comments on my blog, FB, and in chatting with me.

Decisions, decisions..

Disclaimer: The following post is regarding vaccines. Please do not bash me for my feelings or thoughts on this subject. This is just MY opinion. Please do not feel like I am trying to convince you one way or another for what to do with your kids. This is a post about my personal decision for my children. I am more pro-vaccine than not. I just feel that I should select the schedule so my kids are not getting SO many at once. Again, this is just MY opinion.


The Princess has her 15 month check up this Friday the 29th. At her 12 month check up I made the decision to wait on the MMR and Chicken Pox vaccines knowing we would get them later. We were already getting some other vaccines that day and I did not want to give her something new that day. The other vaccines were ones she had already had previously, so they were just boosters.

I am having a HARD time decided if and when she will get these two vaccines.

Looking back, The Superhero had both the MMR and the Chicken Pox vaccines at 15 months of age.

He was diagnosed with T1 Diabetes at 18 1/2 months old. He broke his arm at 16 months old (we think he had blurry vision from the D). On the MMR insert it states Diabetes as a "possible" side effect.

Of course, looking back, I still would have given The Superhero the vaccines the way we did. I probably would have thought "what are the chances" and just done it anyway.

But now with The Princess being at the age where she is supposed to get them, I am having a HARD time making a decision.

Do I want to take a chance? Since she is negative for the Diabetes antibodies according to the Trial Net study, should I do it now, in case they turn positive another time?

I am not sure if she is due for any other vaccines on Friday. I think if she is, we will just do the boosters and hold off on anything new to her. I would rather just do them one at a time if that is what we need to do.

I have read, and re-read The Vaccine Book by Dr. Sears. I have read his website. I think he does a great job explaining the pros and cons and setting up an alternate schedule.

I am still at a loss.

If I skip them for now, will I regret it?

If we do them now, will I regret that?

Will The Princess end up with Diabetes too?

If only I could see into the future!

I *think* I plan on getting them at some point in the next several months, I am just not sure. I can't stop thinking of the "what ifs".

I wish I could be one of those parents that can just trust the doctors and let them do what they are supposed to do on the schedule given to them.

Our life is different. I analyze everything now. Should I, or shouldn't I?

I would love some of my friends to give me some insight on what you would do in this situation.

ETA: I know Diabetes *shouldn't* happen in just 3 months time, according to the text books and research. Not everything happens according to text book and not everything has been fully researched yet. Not every kid or every situation is the same.

So far, AMAZING!

Just a quick update.

We LOVE the Dexcom, aka Dexie. The Superhero thinks it is SUPER cool and LOVES to show it off to everyone.

We LOVE the trends. LOVE the graphs. LOVE arrows telling us which direction the BG is going. LOVE. LOVE. LOVE.

The Superhero has started "interpreting" the information too. He will feel it vibrate and look at it and say, "oh, I'm coming down." (like he really knows what it is telling him)

So far, the readings have been VERY close to the actual blood readings. We are doing WAY fewer finger pokes than before. We used to check his BG at least 3 times at night and we are now only doing 1. We may even cut that out at some point. We LOVE being able to just walk in his room, take a quick look at Dexie, and make a decision.

Along with the pump, this is DEFINITELY one of the BEST things we could do for managing his Diabetes.

Dexcom

I am SO proud of my little man! Here is the video of The Superhero's start up.

Video has been removed. I will record and upload a new video soon.

ETA: New video is posted under the tabs at the top of the page.

Torn

First off, let me say that I LOVE my job. I LOVE working from home. I LOVE being here with my kids.

I am tired. I am torn between all of the things that I have to do daily. Since being off for our two week break I have been having a REALLY hard time getting back into work-mode. I just can't seem to get much done each day. I am not giving anything 100% of my attention at any time throughout the day.

Somehow I am supposed to take care of a 1 year old clingy little princess, take care of a 3 year old independent and quite moody 3 year old, take care of my 3rd child, aka Diabetes, attempt to clean my house, attempt to get laundry done, think about what we are having for dinner, spend some time with my husband, take care of myself (yeah right!), and oh yeah, there is that work thing too.

How am I supposed to get all of this done. How in the world have I been doing this for almost 3 years.

Of course it was much easier when The Superhero was a baby. I just had one kid to attend to while working full time. It was easy back then.

Then Diabetes got thrown in there. I was still handling it fine. Getting my work done.

Then The Princess was born. It was still pretty easy when she was little. She did not do much but sit in her bouncy seat and watch me work. Or I would put her in the sling and get my work done.

I don't know why it is all starting to get to me now.

The kids are older and needing my attention more. The Superhero and The Princess can be playing super nice one minute and the next minute he is biting her on the face. (yes, this actually happened this week!)

Diabetes is being difficult since The Superhero got sick last week and needing my attention more.

How do I say no when The Superhero is saying "Mommy, I NEED you!" or "Mommy, I WANT you".

The problem is, I can't say no. Then my work gets neglected. I am keeping up with the time sensitive stuff. But LOTS of things that NEED to get done are NOT getting done. I keep making To Do lists that just keep growing.

I am so torn between doing all of these things and not one of them is getting my full attention at any given moment during the day. I am tired of being pulled in so many directions.

I wish I could "just" be a stay at home mom. Maybe then I could focus on my kids more. I know there is NO WAY this could happen right now. I NEED my job. We need the crappy insurance and we need the income desperately.

I wish I could afford to hire someone once a week to help me with the kids so I can focus on work and get tons done during that time. Even if I could afford it, finding someone willing to learn all about that third child would be too difficult.

I am just exhausted and emotional today. I am drained. I hate Wednesday's. (Rod has school on Wednesday's and I am on my own with the kids. He will be done in a few months) For some reason just knowing I have to deal with the "jobs" above ALL day and night on my own is overwhelming sometimes.

Luckily I get to escape for a bit tonight. So what if it is for a work marketing event. I will be leaving the kids with my parents for a couple of hours which will be nice. Of course, I will be thinking about all of the other things that I need to get done tonight.

Well, thanks for listening to my vent. I know I am not the only D-mom who has to work full time. I am just having a hard time with it "all" today.

Back to work...or kids...or cleaning... ahhhh who knows.

Songs and Snacks

With all of the illness and holidays today was the first time in weeks that we made it to church. I am SO glad we went! It felt good to see all of the familiar faces and I LOVE letting the kids go play. I know they are very well taken care of and they feel completely at home when we are there.

There are two things that caught my attention today at church.

The first was during the worship songs. There was a line in the one of the songs that always gets stuck in my head, but today it had more meaning that it has in the past.

"Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord"

For some reason, this hit me today. I was thinking a lot about all of the family drama that has been going on. I have been trying to not let it get to me too much, but for some reason it really did today during this song. I sat there thinking how much strength I have needed to get through this. And that I am trying to "wait" and pray to decided what I need to do next.

I have not cried over any of this drama. Yes, I have been hurt, but I have not let myself cry. I have tried to control how I feel about it all and had been doing a good job of it, until today at church.

I actually started to get tears in my eyes and was a little overwhelmed with how I started to feel. I wiped the tears away and just continued listening to the music. It all meant more to me today than it has in the past. It was like God was speaking to me through the great music! I will continue to pray and "wait" to see what I need to do next.


The second thing that caught my attention today was The Superhero. He was a little high (350ish) when he went into church. We bolused light for breakfast because of all the lows we have been having since he was sick. I bolused him a little before he went into his classroom.

Then part way into the service our number pops up on the wall. I figured it must have meant that The Princess was cranky and I needed to go get her. Turns out it was for The Superhero. They were eating animal cookies for a snack and were not sure he could have some. (I always plan on him eating a snack and never bolus for it at church, it is free, and I just deal with the BG later)

I told her he definitely could have some and that I count on him having snack there each week.

I looked into his room and he was sitting at the table with his back to me. All the other kids had animal cookies in front of them and were eating.

And there my little guy was with nothing.

He looked like his head was looking down a bit. I have never had to experience this "left out" feeling before. He is not in school. Is this what it is going to be like? I am not ready for this.

Of course, he was fine as soon as she gave him his snack. I am sure it did not really phase him. But it hit me hard. I did not like seeing him with no snack while everyone else was sitting there eating.

I know they meant no harm. And I appreciate that they thought to ask me before giving it to him.

I just took this a little hard. Seeing him left out even for just a minute just seemed so unfair. I will have to make sure I let them know from now on that he can always have his snack with the rest of the group.

Installing a Husband

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as
Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable
programs such as

NBA 5.0,
NFL 3.0 and
Golf Clubs 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate.




DEAR DESPERATE,

First, keep in mind,
Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.HTML, try to download Tears 6.2, and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0update.
If those applications work as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0
to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1.
Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0-program. This is an unsupported application and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck!

Tech Support

Sick, sick, sick!

Time to remember what I learned last time The Superhero was sick!

I knew there was a reason he was low for the last couple of days. I knew there was a reason he was not interested in eating much yesterday. I knew something was not right.

That something came "up" tonight! Ugh. I heard him in his room fussing at 1:30am. I sent Rod in there. I hear him trying to get my attention through the baby monitor. I head in there to see The Superhero throwing up. :(

The Princess was sick last week on Thursday and Friday. I guess it is The Superhero's turn now. I was hoping what she had was a fluke and that no one else would get it.

I sent Rod up to get the anti-nausea meds filled. Why did I not get these filled the last time he was sick? Thank God for 24 hour pharmacies.

Please pray that ketones stay away (currently none), his BG stays up (currently 124), and that he gets over this REALLY fast.

After he threw up, he said "I feel SO much better now" in his cute little Superhero voice.

Then we were watching Dora the Explorer and Diego happened to be on the same episode. He saw them both (Dora and Diego) and started laughing and saying "Mommy, there is Dora, Diego, and Boots. That's funny!"

At least he still has his cute sense of humor at 2am.

I REALLY hate saying...

"You HAVE to eat ALL of your snack before you can go play!"

It has been a LOW kind of day. :(

I don't often complain about Diabetes. I just deal with it as it comes and move on. One number at a time. I chart it all and make changes as necessary. For some reason, today the lows really bothered me.

Before lunch The Superhero was 83. Ate lunch, bolused, nap, after nap...69! Where did that come from? Crazy.

I had been telling The Superhero all morning that we would go to the park after his nap if he would be a good boy and let me get some work done. So after his nap the park is the FIRST thing he thinks of. He remembers EVERYTHING.

With a 69 and a pending park date, this means he needs juice and a decent snack. I gave him the juice before we left. He picked a snack (Wheat Thins, his new favorite) and I told him he HAD to eat it on the way to the park. We are about a 5-10 minute walk from the park. I figured he would eat his snack while I was walking and he would play when we got there.

Well, apparently he ate almost NOTHING on the way there. I let The Princess start playing and told him that he HAD to finish his snack before he could join her. I hated it. I hate that Diabetes holds him back sometimes. He REFUSED to eat his snack and just sat there in the stroller pouting.

I told him I would check his BG to see if he came up enough with what he had eaten, plus the juice and then decided if he really NEEDED to eat the snack.

116. Not high enough to go running around the park. Plan B. I asked if he would eat something else. I had a granola bar in his bag. He decided he would eat that. It took him about 10 more minutes to finish his granola bar (he eats SLOW sometimes). Then he finally got to go play with The Princess.

They had such a great time playing today. And for those of you in COLD weather, my kids were in short sleeves and pants. And the pants were almost too much today. :)

I checked The Superhero before we left because he was being a stinker again, he was down to 86! Another juice and we were on our way home.

Checked before dinner and he was up to 104. Gave him a few mini M & M's to hold him over until dinner. He enjoyed this treat and even was nice enough to share with The Princess.


I REALLY hope Diabetes cooperates tonight and does not throw more lows at us! We usually deal with the opposite problem. Maybe it is time for more adjustments. I am tired of "thinking" in numbers!

DONE!

I am SO DONE with illness right now!

2 weeks before Christmas The Princess had an ear infection.

1 week before Christmas The Princess had Croup.

Thank GOD she was healthy for Christmas.

Now one week later, she is sick AGAIN! This time it is a stomach bug. She seemed a little "off" on Thursday and cried most of the morning. I fed her lunch like normal, nursed her, and then IT happened! She threw up ALL over the both of us.

She enjoyed her first shower ever. We both got cleaned up and I put her down for a nap. She seemed a little off the rest of the day. She ate a little at dinner, but not a whole lot.

She still seemed a little off the next morning. I put her down for her nap a little early so I could run some errands while she slept. When I got home she started to wake up and was crying in her crib. It was not a normal cry. This was the "mommy, something is wrong" cry. I knew something was wrong. I go in to her room and sure enough, she threw up all over the place. She was just sitting in the mess crying. I felt so bad for her. After chatting with Nurse Wendy last night I decided it must just be a stomach bug. I needed to keep an eye on her and make sure she was hydrated.

She continued to seem "off" for the rest of the day. She has been WAY crankier than normal. She has not thrown up since yesterday, but is still not feeling well. It took me 2 hours to get her to take a nap today. She just would not stop crying. She is miserable.

Then my mom called. She did not want to scare me, but wanted to remind me of the fall The Princess did on Wednesday at the Picture People. I was not with The Princess when she fell, so I did not know how bad it was. She apparently fell and hit her head pretty hard on the hard floor. My mom said she seemed stunned and only fussed for a minute. The Princess acted fine the rest of that day so we did not think any more about the fall, until today. We started to put the pieces together.

Hit head = possible concussion = throwing up = irritability = etc

I put in a call to Nurse Wendy to see what we should do. (Thank God for friends like her!) She said we should take her to the ER and get it checked out. So off we went!

They did the routine checks at the ER. Felt her head, listened to her heart/ lungs, looked in her throat/ears, blood pressure, pulse, weight, etc. The determined that it must just be a tummy bug.

Due to some bad experiences with ER docs leading up to The Superhero's dx, I have a hard time trusting the ER docs. I think he could tell that I did not fully trust what he was saying. He sent in another doc to confirm what he was telling me. I am REALLY trying to trust that this is just a tummy bug. It probably is.

BUT I am usually right when I have a gut feeling about something. Every time my kids have an ear infection, croup, rash, etc I have been right. It is hard for me to trust that they know what they are doing/saying.

So for now, we are at home. She is still cranky, not sleeping well, not eating well, and just miserable all around. I gave her some motrin in case she is any pain (I was thinking headache). I can't wait for this to pass.