Friday, May 10, 2013

More Than A D Mom

May 2004

I became a teacher.

I had my first teaching job before I even finished school.

Long-term sub for a teacher moving out of state.

5th grade, unruly class.

I honestly loved this job.

Life was good.

October 9, 2005. 

I became a wife. 

Being a teacher, a wife and managing a house became my life. 

Life was good.

December 21, 2006. 

I became a mommy.

I became a full time work-at-home teacher.

Being a work-at-home teacher, wife and mom became my life. 

I loved this life. 

Life was great!

July 10, 2008. 

I became a D Mom (aka Diabetes mama). 

Being a Diabetes mama became my life. 

This life consumed me. 

I was not in love with it.

Life was different.

It became a life of blood sugars

...of insulin

...of chasing a toddler to give him shots

...of pump sites

...of counting carbs

...of constantly have numbers float around in my head

...of second guessing my decisions

...of panicking if my cell phone wasn't nearby

...of sleepless nights, every night, FOREVER.

It became a life of going through the motions just to survive each day.

And to keep my Superhero alive.

After a few years and another baby (aka, The Princess) it was time to do something for ME.

I needed more than being a teacher.

I needed more than being a wife.

I needed more than being a mom.

I especially needed more than being a D Mom.

I have no idea who I was before Diabetes.

Before babies.

Before marriage.

That person, that woman, is long gone.

But it was time that I needed to find something for ME that could show me who I am.

Who I could be.

Or at least who part of me could be.

Being a teacher, a wife,  a mom and especially a D Mom wasn't going away.

It wasn't until my husband's grandmother passed away, and I inherited her sewing machine, that I finally had found something for ME.

It started simple with pajama pants for my kids and pillow case dresses for The Princess.

Then it evolved into some quilting.

And now I am constantly challenging myself with new projects.

I have made burp cloths, chenille baby blankets, car seat canopies, nursing covers, tote bags, and duffle bags.

It turns out that I am actually creative (that is SO hard for me to say about myself!).

I even started my own little online store.

Sewing is my time.

Even though I make most of my projects for other people, it is MY time.

My therapy.

My kid free, husband free, DIABETES free, ME time.

And life with Diabetes never goes away.

And sometimes my ME time gets interrupted.

But I am able to go to it when I need a break.

When I need to breathe.

Even if just for a few minutes. Or a few hours.

The rest of the time can be filled with  life.

Including life with Diabetes.

Diabetes doesn't just go away. And focusing on me time doesn't always happen. (Hello, cell phone within arms reach!)

Sometimes D just needs the attention. And usually I am ok with that.

But, it is important to have something to escape to.

Once in a while.

When I need to be "More than a D Mom".

Because I am more than that. Right?

*** This post is one of more than a week long series of posts titled "More than a D Mom". Here are the other Mamas who have already shared their posts... Hallie, Meri, Lora, Wendy, and make sure to check out Donna tomorrow! ***


Sarah said...

I love this post.
Our boys were diagnosed at about the same time.
And now, right now, I am just making the transition to finding that I NEED me time. It is hard to carve out those moments, spend the money, make the extra effort - but I know it will be worth it.
Thank you for sharing :)

Lora said...

Glad you have found something to escape to. I think we all need that.

Misty said...

I can so relate to a "life of just going through the motions". I'm so happy that you are finding your inner creative self and finding some time for yourself!

Hallie Addington said...

Love this. Love you! And love your incredible sewing creations!

Wendy Rose said...

This post is beautiful, my friend! I love that you've found this hobby, and it's made even more special knowing it was sparked as a way to honor your husband's grandmother's legacy.

Soon you'll be adding a 5k every weekend to your list. Okay. Maybe not EVERY weekend, but........often :)

Joanne said...

So glad you have found your "thing", and you are wonderful at it!

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