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As I was going about our morning routine on Christmas I thought that for anyone on the outside, it must look really strange in our house. And how for us it all seemed so normal.
Normal to be poking fingers.
Normal to be counting carbs.
Normal to eat before opening all the presents.
Normal to be watching the trend on the Dexcom.
Normal to realize the pump site is on day 4 and should have been changed yesterday.
Normal to realize it when you see a number in the 300's pop up on the meter.
Normal to wonder "Could the pump site be why he is high?"
Normal to think about having to poke a needle into my 4 year old to hook up a new pump site.
Normal to actual have said 4 year old on the counter screaming that he does NOT want a site change.
Normal to know his mood is now affected by his BG in the 300's and not necessarily because you are about to poke him with a needle in the tushie.
Normal to hope and PRAY you gave him the right amount of insulin to bring that BG down without crashing him.
Normal to come home from Christmas festivities so exhausted you end up crying about how much all this NORMAL sucks.
Normal to have a little pity party quietly while your Diabetic 4 year old fights going to sleep in the next room.
Normal to wonder what we look like to people on the outside.
I had a REALLY hard time Christmas night with all this NORMAL happening in our house. I am over it now. It is what it is.
Then I ready Wendy's post this morning about CHOOSING JOY and have moved past my pity party once again and am trying hard to choose JOY over sorrow.
I am JOYFUL that I have my 4 year old here and ALIVE with me.
I am JOYFUL that I have the medical tools necessary to keep him alive and healthy.
I am JOYFUL to have SO many other D Mamas living and thinking the same things as me.
I am JOYFUL to have Diabetes to make me appreciate life so much more.
I am sure I will have another pity party in the future because Diabetes will always suck, but I am happy to know I can see the JOY in the end. And it is not the view from outside that matters most, it is what is happening on the inside that counts.
And what was happening on the inside, was definitely JOYFUL.
*Disclaimer: I am a mom of a T1 Diabetic child. I am NOT a doctor. I just play one in real life. Please do not take anything in this post or any other post on this blog as medical advice. If you have questions or concerns of your own, please seek advice from your doctor.*
8 comments:
Hey Sweet, Sweet Tracy...bummer on the "normal" that really isn't "normal" that seeps into every aspect of our lives, of our children's lives...even on Christmas. Pity parties are OK...and then finding the "JOY" helps lift us and helps us show our little ones how to move on with grace. I find myself in a cycle of pity parties and joy...I guess it is normal...at least I hope so.
Love to you and the family!
I have one to add:
Normal for an 8yo to look you in the eye and say "I have decided I don't want a shot and I'm not going to take it."
::sigh::
The Joy, however, will ALWAYS trump the Normal . . . and THAT is what gets us through another day.
(that and a little support from the DOC;))
Great post, Tracy!
Oh the pity parties come...finding JOY is the only way out :)
I have had many, MANY pity parties too, my dear friend...like you, Wendy and all the other d-mamas have already said before me...finding joy is what matters at the end of the day.
It's not always easy to pull that joy out after a day of d drama, but when we find it...oh how sweet it is :)
(((hugs)))
Yeah- I hear you! But look at those darling little faces! That is joy for sure!
I had a bit of a pity party of my own on Christms.... our normal is definitely a lot to take, no doubt about it! Good for you for taking the way of Joy to find your way out.
I have been there, thinking the exact same thing. We have to choose Joy, we just have to or we will be miserable.
Thanks to Wendy and all of my sweet D peeps - I like you chose to find the joy! We had a site change in Christmas day and the rest of our family had to wait on us but that was ok. We do what we have to do and then move on.
It looks like you guys had a wonderful Christmas!!!!!
Happy New Year!!!
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