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I have got a bad case of Mommy Guilt. I wish I didn't. I wish I could just stay at home and be a mom. Maybe then I wouldn't feel so guilty.
Lately, everything has been consuming my time.
Work has been CRAZY busy since the school year just started. When I say crazy, I mean
C
R
A
Z
Y!
I have been working non-stop almost 7 days per week since school started. Of course, I have been taking care of the kids' basic needs, keeping up with the house as much as I can, and sleeping occasionally, but work is consuming me lately. And I have decided that it is time to STOP.
No, this does not mean I am leaving my job, I wish I could afford to. I do love my job, but I miss my kids.
I miss spending time with my kids.
I am always on the computer working. Or on the computer keeping up with my Awesome Diabetes friends on FB and Blogs.
Don't get me wrong, I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the friends I have and truthfully, they are the some of the only friends I have since I work from home. So, don't worry friends, I am not leaving you.
But, I am not being the mommy I want to be. I am torn between all of the things I have to get accomplished and spending time with the kids.
My whole life all I ever wanted was to be a mommy, now I have the Mommy Blues.
So, I think it is time I put parenting FIRST and everything else second. I will be re-structuring my work schedule to hopefully get most of my work done while the kids are at school/daycare or when they are sleeping. Even if it means working a little late at night.
I don't want to miss everything that is happening in their little lives. I feel like I am missing so much already.
Sorry for the rambling.
It has been a ROUGH week.
The kids have been SICK and I have still been working. I have not been a nice mommy demanding them to be QUIET when I needed to teach. Then I feel SO guilty for being a mean mommy and putting work first.
So, no more, it cannot happen any longer. My kids have to be #1. Period.
