Tuesday, November 8, 2011

I don't want to talk about it.

It is November.

November is Diabetes awareness month.

Last year I spent the entire month posting facts every day about the disease that our family and many of our friends deal with on a daily basis. (you can read last years posts under the Facts about T1 Diabetes tab at the top of my blog)

This year, you wouldn't even know diabetes was such a huge part of our lives. Not because it has gone anywhere. Not because I don't think about the stupid disease all.the.time. Because I do, of course. I spend every waking moment, and some sleeping ones too (weird dreams, so not fair to dream about diabetes).

The thing is, I just don't want to talk about it.

I am tired of this disease.

My Superhero is tired of this disease.

I don't want to talk about the fact that his last A1C was higher than it has been in a year and a half.

I don't want to talk about the fact that I have let pump sites go as long as 8 days before changing them because I am so incredibly busy that I can't keep my days straight. And I only changed it then because we had our very first low cartridge warning.

Even though I know THIS is our month to educate and inform the public about a disease that can take my kid's life, or any of theirs for that matter, I don't want to talk about it.

Major Diabetes burnout going on here.

And I don't want to talk about it.

*Disclaimer: I am a mom of a T1 Diabetic child and a child with ITP/Asthma/Dysphagia. I am NOT a doctor. I just play one in real life. Please do not take anything in this post or any other post on this blog as medical advice. If you have questions or concerns of your own, please seek advice from your doctor.*


Jessica said...

I can SO relate.

Stephanie said...

Hugs. Totally get it.

Amy said...

I have so been there. No one can be on top of their game all of the time and burnout hits everyone eventually, everyone. Adding other health problems to the mix makes it that much harder. You guys have been through so much.
It's super important to focus on balance and quality of life vs. being the "perfect" D mom (a facade) and the super advocate (somewhat annoying, lol). All of those things have a time and a place, but when life gets crazy it's OK to pull back.

I hit a wall a few years back and stopped most contact with the DOC (and walked away from CWD which was a huge, daily part of my life) and it was so good for me! I had other serious health issues to deal with. I was sick of D and I didn't want to see or hear anything about it. I knew what I needed to know and I needed a break!
I decided I needed a non-D hobby, so I started sewing. You see where that got me...? Right back into the DOC but it in a much happier place. :)


Kelly said...

I quit blogging awhile back, because I too, just don't wanna talk about it. I have nothing to say. It just is what it is, and I'm burned out too......I totally understand!

Last year I had no interest in November awareness, but for some reason I'm all over it this year.....I think because I'm just so tired of PINK!! (hugs)

Joanne said...

Sorry. It sucks.

Same, my friend. If you ever want to not talk about it, you have my number.

Laura @ Houston We Have A Problem! said...

burnout happens --- take all the time you need and feel free to text or call me and we can talk about the weather! Love you!!

Just because you are not talking about doesn't mean you're not advocating. You are a rock star D Mama!!

Donna ((Sweet Momma)) said...

You dont have to talk about it. Cuz we know. Thats why we love you. Cuz we know. :)

I am SO guilty of the letting sites go too long thing. For the very same reason: Can't keep the days straight. SO, my solution: I have started underfilling the cartridges. That way I am FORCED to do a site change every 3 days cuz we are out of insulin. LOL IT WORKS!!!!

(((HUGS))) my friend!

Stephanie said...


I love hearing how everyone does things. We were taught to only fill 3 days worth in the cartridge so that we wouldn't forget...so I had to laugh that you've never heard the "low cartridge" alarm...because I hear it every 3 days, LOL!

Jules said...

i totally understand. theres times where the last thing i want to do is think about diabetes. i dont read blogs, i dont want to focus on it, i dont even feel like testing my son. usually the crappy a1c sends you on a downward spiral. if only we could detach from what that number means and just look forward to better numbers etc. its all so hard because your motherhood and emotion is all tied up in there. BIG HUGS. i wonder how you are doing now, hope you are on the mend and heading out of BURNOUT...and into wonderful things. xx.

Denise aka 'Mom of Bean' said...

I hear you! The only way I know it's time to change Bean's pod these days is the little 'beep, beep' that the PDM gives me. And then it's usually "really, it's pod change day. ok, whatever!" :)

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